My Time with GOD
Russell Tanoue
On
September 7th I had a flight to catch to Las Vegas at 10:00 PM. That day I go in to see
my doctor regarding a lump. I told him
I'm leaving tonight to Las Vegas for the next 4 days. He then tells me, "I
think you should cancel your trip." BAM! Right there my life stopped. I was
thinking 4 days can't wait this must be urgent. Called my travel agent and
Vegas was put in the past.
On the way home, nothing mattered and thoughts of the most dark would enter my
mind and tears emerged. Because I have so much I want to do for my family and
with my project shine I fought the idea that I'm about to face either a "fight
for your life" challenge or will begin what we all have to face...the end of
this journey on earth.
I then started to reflect on what I say to those who are facing death. And I
remember saying that the agreement in life to all that is born must die. So I
told myself, "is this my time? Is this it?" This went on for a week. It was
so stressful.
By this time, I had only shared this with a few people because I didn't want the
public or the media to start showing interest and gossip all sort of things.
My mind was going insane, I started to vision and plan my funeral. All white
with white rose petals, tons of candles that represent each soul that crossed my
path, etc. I started to think of all my friends who have died.
Suddenly, God swept me off my feet. My time with God began. I had connected
with him in such a magical way, my spirit was fed and he started lifting off the
darkness, Satan's thoughts in me and truly gave me the strength and comfort.
"So I tell you, BELIEVE that you have already
RECEIVED what you have asked for in prayer and God will give them to you."
Mark 11:24 I will always remember this scripture from God.
I asked God that whatever the lump is that His word will claim it and it will
not be serious. Even if they had me cancel my trip and the vision of energy
from "man" seemed life threatening, I have faith in you that you will be my
medicine.
The Lump meets Everyone
September 12th was my appointment at the hospital. They cut an incision 1 inch
and 3 inch deep. The lump was as hard as a bone. It was hard to keep incognito
as every procedure I went through the doctors, the nurse, the surgeon, the
pharmacist all would comment on how they know me or read about me. And here I
am in a baseball hat and sunglasses as I didn't want any hype on my journey.
But, the good thing about it was that they all gave me top notch treatment and
service. They, I called my angels.
Having Faith
As I laid there, my surgeon talks to me. Injecting me to numb me 3 to 4 times.
It was painful but I held on to God and focused on what I asked for. I never
felt how it feels to have Faith. Faith, literally giving it all up to God.
Removing your "self" understanding and thoughts and having all belief in Faith
in God.
Well, when I got my results from the Surgeon I prayed that if she has NO good
news, I don't want her to open her mouth.
"Russell, you have healed really fast." The lump was a mass that built in the
muscle and it needs to drain and it will get smaller in months to come. It was
just a growth that became aggravated and infected. How beautiful the
word "JUST" sounded, no really, it soothed my entire body.
As she left the room, my eyes uncontrollably teared up as the joy of God
rushed through my body and on the way home, I tried calling my family to
informed them of the good news and I couldn't event talk cause every time my
mouth opened I would shake with tears. Even now as I am sharing this with you,
my eyes are tearing. And it's God, He is in me and my heart aches with
gratefulness.
And then....
Soon after the minor surgery, my left eye that I shoot with started to become
blurry and it felt un natural. So I was back to my internal medicine doctor and
he sent me to an eye specialist thinking this is all related to the lump and the
stress.
I sat there in prayer, please, please I don't want to have any surgeries.
I prayed to God and gave my situation and held fast and focused on my faith.
The day of my appointment, they dropped drops after drops into the eye my eye
felt like falling out. The specialist walks in and says, "I read all about you
all the time." I was like oh no, here we go. He left me in the dark room for
about 15 minutes and I spoke to God, asking for his presence, asking him for
ONLY good results.
He came back in performed the procedures, etc. When he came back to tell me my
diagnoses, "Russell your eyes are healthy, your left eye is your weak and
dominating eye." I left with tears and as I was leaving all the nurses was
asking me, "so what is it, what did the doctor say?" I turned to them with my
eyes watery and said, "I'm all good." as the nurses started talking about Kelly
Hu, etc. This was the first day I could actually think of bad food like a
quarter pounder and so I ate one.
After this appointment, he advised me to see my eye doctor so I had another
appointment to go to that week. I prayed that my appointment will be all but
calming, no stressful news, just calming.
"Hey Russell, I just read about your birthday party", says the doctor. I told
him how his picture on his brochure need an update. He went on about his life,
sharing his entire family and his interest. He spent so much time with me it
was beautiful. He told me since you're a photographer, do you want me to
increase your vision. I was like GO FOR IT.
I left his office touched.
During this time I had chose to quit smoking cold turkey. God is so amazing as
he has kept me from all cravings! It's like I never smoked before. However, I
can smell smoke and odors miles away. What a delight huh. But with this comes
change in the body.
The transformation
Imagine this:
Prior to Sept. 7th my diet was 5-6 small meals a day, I was having a cocktail at
least 3-4 times a week, smoking was a daily thing, I would drink coffee here and
there on my lag days from lack of sleep and was working out 4 times per week.
My body was lean as I worked for it to be.
From Sept 12th, my diet was 2-3 meals a day, hardly felt like eating with all
the emotional and metal stress. I was on medication 4 times a day, I was not
drinking alcohol, not smoking, and I couldn't work out by doctors orders. But I
would do light workouts at home. My abs popped out without trying.
My entire system was in shock. It was adjusting to not having alcohol,
nicotine, the good food I was eating 5 times a day and the medication I was on.
It was horrible.
But throughout this time, I spent daily with God. I spent lots of walks with
nature and God. I could only lay around so I laid out by the pool. Read the
Bible and other books. My life was changing. My body was changing. My heart
was being transformed.
You know, I have always been a deep person one who cares and tries to help
people. I've been asked over and over by fans, people, where I get my light
from. Or "who is your mentor?" Well, I always say God is. And you know,
reflecting back over the many years, He has always been there for me and I have
not always remembered to give Him thanks. I praise Him for my entire
existence. It is because of Him that I am able to touch people's lives because
it is His light that people don't realize they are feeling.
God has assured me of all the times I said that life is about your present
moment, live out loud, beauty is unseen, He has validated those quotes and they
have so much of a deeper meaning now. It's amazing.
I feel special in a big way. I feel chosen for this journey as I would have
never opened my heart as wide as it is now. I feel He has a plan for me and I
believe they are big ones. I am so grateful.
Our Final Destination..
We will all die, that is our final
destination. No matter how many homes, cars, money, gold, you have, our exit
from this earth is death and non of what you have will matter. What gets
born must die. How and when is the unanswered question but God knows.
We need to enjoy life and not material things. We need to absorb God's words now
and not when we have no choice.
He said, "what do you profit from all the riches of the world vs. eternal life?"
Don't live your life without any substance. Because it's when you forget the
life you were blessed with is when God will stop you in your place, cause he
wants you to turn to Him and not to our own understanding. Yes, we all want it
OUR way, but until you do it God's way, nothing really will fall into place.
I think everyone should have their time with God, it would certainly make the
world a better place.
Hope you are well and until next time, take time to spend with God and spend an
evening/day gazing at the sun, moon, stars and all the beauty that surrounds
us.
Ask yourself, "now what?"
After you obtain your goals, buy your 3rd house...now what?
I'll tell you this, God has all the answers, check him out!
Isn't it amazing, we don't realize how much we need God until he is all we
have. Be thankful everyday.
My deepest appreciation to the hundreds of friends across the nation who kept their prayers strong. Know that you have surrounded me with comfort and peace while God tossed me upside down and returned me 10 times greater than ever! I love each and everyone of you. I know he has big plans for me and I look forward to sharing more with you in the near future! And above all, I thank the good Lord for being with me, healing me and touching my heart. I am made new because of Him. Praise God.
What is FAITH?
I would like to share this amazing spirit who recently past on who's Faith I admire.
Please visit
RICK PEARSON
Yours truly,
Russell Tanoue
If you have a journey you'd like to share, please email it to rtfotofanclub@aol.com